The Beauty Show News

Dear Jes,
    My 15 year old is very unhappy about her appearance. She comes from a large nose gene pool. Her father and I are distressed because she wants a nose job. We keep trying to tell her that she is beautiful just the way she is but what we think seems to matter less and less these days. She says that other kids make fun of her nose. We explained to her that we don’t have the financial resources for this elective surgery. She responded to that by volunteering to get an after school job to help pay for the operation. Though we were privately amused and appreciated the offer, the truth is she barely has time in the evenings to do homework. I feel like we have failed her as parents. What can we do to help her feel better about the way she looks?

Mystified in Teen Land

Dear Mystified,
    Every parent of a teenager at one time or another will feel like they have failed the child. This is unavoidable because the job description of a teenager requires them to reject the parents in order to expand and find their own identity. It’s all so very intense because they evolve in the context of hormonal shifts that rival a roller coaster ride. Their minds are beginning to sharpen and teasing others with their new found ability to spew acid comments makes them feel empowered especially the ones who are the most insecure on the inside. But at the same time, they are desperate to conform with their peers. So being teased about anything is their worst fear especially when it has to do with something they can’t change like a physical characteristic.
Here’s a fact that may help you dialog with your daughter. As kids grow, their bodies continue to change through the teen years. Body parts that might appear too large or too small now, can become more proportionate over time. What seems like a big nose now could, in the end, be the right size when the rest of her face catches up.
Helping your daughter feel better about her looks in general will go a long way to improve her over all self esteem. One way to accomplish this is to take her with you to a spa for a couple beauty treatments. Many spas today are catering to teens and tweens. And doing something with you is always going to make her feel more secure.
Here’s the bottom line - even though a teenager appears to be striving for independence they need nurturing and support from their parents more than any other time in their lives. I think you have not failed her at all. Keep telling her she is beautiful and that you believe in her even if it appears she’s not listening. I can promise you that she hears you. Remember you and her father are the one constant during this new phase of dramatic shifts in body and consciousness.

Enjoy Each Other,

Jes Ryn
       

About Jes:
Jes Ryn is an intuitive healer, author, spiritual coach and Reiki Master.   Ryn’s years spent within the nursing field and later as a life/health coach gives her a unique prospective for blending traditional western knowledge with alternative modalities.
Helping clients with life issues has been a natural progression of Jes Ryn’s work. She believes that, “Physical illness has its root in disconnection from spirit. If you can reconnect to your inner core of spiritual wellness your body and mind will shortly follow suit.”
The Beauty Show is honored to have Jes Ryn as a business – life-path coach.  Jes will be pleased to hear from you and answer your questions here in the “Ask Jes” monthly column. 

To ask a question, please write to:  askjes@thebeautyshow.com

For inquiry on a private consultation or coaching, please write Jes directly at: jesryn@juno.com